TV's Emma Noble speaks about son Harry's autism

It is clear she is trying to control the overwhelming emotion she feels as she describes the moment her son Harry “lost” his last word.

Beautiful Emma, 36, says: “When he lost his speech it was terrible. It breaks my heart but his final word to go was ‘Mummy’.

“He was trying so hard but all he could get out was ‘Mu, Mu’. All the time I was desperately willing him on.

“That look of fear and confusion on his face will never leave me.”

It was then that Emma finally knew without a doubt that there was something very wrong happening to her little boy.

Previously the bright two-and-a-half-year-old had had great language skills for his age and was walking, alert and interacting well with family and friends.

But gradually Emma noticed him falter with his sentences, withdraw into his own little world, leave food that had touched other food on his plate and line up his toys for hours on end – all classic traits of autism.

She describes his deterioration like watching a light short-circuiting – only with no experience of autism, she did not know what the signs meant.

A couple of months later Harry was diagnosed with the condition – another despairing low for Emma, who says: “I felt very alone and isolated.”

To add to her troubles, at around that time she broke up with husband James Major. They divorced in March 2003 and James moved to the Scottish Highlands.

For many, their pairing had always been an unlikely one.

Emma grew up on a council estate, the daughter of a nurse and a printer, and became a successful model and television presenter.

In contrast James – son of former Prime Minister John Major – had not found his niche. He had gone from nightclub entrepreneur to novelist and dotcom boomer but lasting success had evaded him.

Emma recalls the traumatic period: “I would cry myself to sleep every night. It was a desperate time because it felt like such a mountain to climb.

“I felt as if I was doing it all on my own. I was so scared, I kept asking myself, ‘Am I really up to this?’ I knew what was expected.”

But she was clearly “up to it”, for Harry, who is now seven, has made phenomenal progress, thanks to his mum’s determination.

Emma says: “It was like slowly building the bricks back up which had just been knocked down. It was Harry who pulled me out of that despair. I started doing courses on autism and could then see tiny improvements – they meant everything to me.”

Emma and Harry passed a major milestone when he started to recognise and respond to his name.

She says: “That was a huge breakthrough for us and I got such encouragement from that.”

But to get that far Emma had worked for months, day in and day out.

She says: “To begin with every time I wanted to talk to him I had to pull his face towards me. That was excruciating and I hated it but eventually it paid off and he started to respond.”

Emma now has a “friendly” relationship with ex-husband James and says: “Our marriage did come to an end as we were learning about the full extent of Harry’s problems. It is very important to me that people – and my son, above all – know the two were not connected.”

She adds: “Harry really is amazing. He is like a little encyclopaedia now, loves birds and knows all there is to know about their habitat, diet, markings.

“He talks ten to the dozen now and is a real chatterbox. When I think how I felt after his diagnosis it is like another lifetime.

“I felt I really wanted to know why. I was very angry, very upset. It was a form of grieving, a bereavement. But that feeling dies – the desperate wanting to blame – and what takes over is the day-to-day living.

“We have come a long way and now I can honestly say I don’t feel bereavement. Time helps things move on.

“You have to be very positive – and Harry makes that very easy.”

Emma is passionate about improving the public’s understanding and awareness of autism.

She says: “On the whole I’ve had a good reaction from the public but there have been times when a little empathy would help.”

Earlier this year Emma, who has supported Harry and herself by relying on her savings, took her son to see The Lion King at the theatre in London.

She says: “He desperately wanted to go but even such a simple trip takes a lot of preparation.

“I had to explain there would be a lot of people and a lot of noise.

“We took his ear muffs and reassured him that he could leave at any time. He was squealing, putting his hands over his eyes, loving it as any child would.

“Then a woman next to me said, ‘Can you please control your child? I have paid a lot of money for these tickets.’

“I replied, ‘My son is autistic and is behaving impeccably. Please be quiet.’ Well, I wasn’t quite that polite – but words to that effect.

“She did apologise but I was angry. There are times when a little bit of understanding would go a long way.”

Emma, who lives near Cambridge, has not taken the decision to go public easily and says: “I want to give others hope by talking about Harry.

“He does have a disabling condition but by the same token I don’t want to slap a label on his head. I want people to stop thinking of the film Rain Man whenever they hear of autism. I am lucky to have Harry and very proud of him. I have high hopes for his future now. I want him to have a relationship and a job.

“But it is important for the public to realise autistic children grow up into autistic adults. It doesn’t go away.”

Although Emma is very positive about her own situation she is also campaigning for other families who get little help with caring.

She says: “Ironically, because I’m a single mum I do get a lot of support. My mum and dad look after Harry regularly in the week and his dad has him every other weekend.

“Harry is also at mainstream school now and doing really well. But I’m lucky. He is responding well to treatment whereas a lot of children don’t. The best way I can describe autism is that it is like being in a foreign country and not knowing the language. If he is in pain or hungry he can’t communicate it. Can you imagine how frustrating that would be – not knowing your way around or how to ask for directions?

“That is why so many autistic people get very frustrated and angry, Harry included.”

Despite his impressive improvements, Harry still faces many challenges. Emma says: “He recently went up to a little boy and gave him a big cuddle.

“Then he was upset when the boy pushed him away and gave him a strange look.

“Harry still doesn’t understand what is appropriate behaviour. I’m very pleased he now tells me he loves me. But now he says it to everyone – the fine tuning is difficult.

“He also finds it difficult making friends. I and other adults who understand and love him are his friends.” As for the future, Emma is writing a book on autism and is considering various offers of television work for the first time.

She says: “I’d love more children but you need a man for that. I’m single and haven’t found anyone right. It is hard. I met someone last year but it didn’t work out. I’m cautious. I don’t want Harry to get attached to someone who suddenly isn’t around.”